Sexual abuse is an unspeakable act — yet the most effective path to recovery is talking about it.
It can happen to anyone, of any gender, at any age. Many survivors carry a deep sense of shame about what happened, and that shame is often what prevents them from getting the help they need.
n Australia, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience sexual assault by adulthood. Yet only 38% of survivors report the abuse or seek support. Sexual abuse is never the victim's fault — and getting help is one of the most important steps towards recovery.
Sexual abuse counselling isn't about reliving what happened. It's about reclaiming your sense of self and building a life defined by you, not by events beyond your control. If you're reading this, that's already a step in the right direction.
Common reactions to sexual abuse include:
Modern trauma recovery counselling doesn't focus on reliving the abuse. Instead, it equips survivors with practical tools and techniques to:
Life Supports sexual abuse counsellors and psychologists can help you address your experience of sexual abuse, and reduce its ongoing impact. As such, memories that were once powerful cease to trigger intense emotions, and no longer get in the way of living a full and meaningful life.
For appointments or enquiries, please call 1300 735 030 or leave us an email via our contact page.
Counselling can give victims of sexual abuse a greater chance of healing and recovery with the extra support and guidance of an experienced clinician. In counselling sessions, a therapist will work with you to process the trauma you have experienced, help you to release any unhelpful feelings, learn strategies to cope with the aftermath of your experience/s and find new ways of communicating and connecting intimately with others. They will sit and listen to you throughout the process, acknowledging and validating your emotions while sharing strategies to help you in your healing journey.
Sexual abuse counselling is a specialised form of therapy that focuses on supporting individuals who have been impacted by sexual abuse or assault. A therapist can provide a safe and supportive space for affected individuals to heal after sexual violence, helping them to understand and manage the psychological effects of abuse, as well as empowering them to feel confident and autonomous in everyday life. Counselling can be a powerful tool for those other than the victim themselves, including loved ones of victims, who can learn how to process their emotions and support their impacted loved ones.
Your first counselling session will be centred on your therapist getting to know you in a space where you feel heard, safe, and respected. Your counsellor will start by introducing themselves and explaining the process of therapy. The initial session will focus on creating trust between you and your therapist. They will encourage you to set boundaries and take each moment as it comes; there should be no pressure on you to discuss anything you don’t feel ready to share. The session will focus on your immediate needs, ensuring you feel supported and comfortable. The primary goal of your first session is to build a foundation of trust between you and your therapist that can be carried over to future sessions.
Your counsellor will work with you to develop skills to help you understand and manage trauma responses to sexual abuse. Some of these skills you will learn and enhance include:
These skills will empower you to reclaim your sense of autonomy and enable you to manage the overwhelming feelings elicited by a trauma response.
It can be difficult to understand or accept that you have been assaulted, especially as the boundaries of consent are often poorly understood in society. But if someone has touched you sexually in any way without your consent, that is assault. You do not need to have outward signs of injury to have been sexually assaulted – non-consensual sexual contact is a form of violence in itself.
The most important thing after a sexual assault is to ensure you are safe from any further violence or harm. If the perpetrator is someone you know, make sure you are in a safe place away from them.
Sexual-assault related trauma can be extremely difficult to overcome, because sexual assault can be extremely victimising and leave you feeling unsafe. It can also come with complicated emotions like guilt or uncertainty – often, victims are left wondering if they did something to provoke what happened to them. That’s why it’s important to seek professional help if you’ve been assaulted, to make sure that you are not developing unhealthy complexes. Today, sexual assault trauma counselling is effective for 70-90% of victims, so there is a strong chance that with counselling you can recover and lead a fulfilling life. It’s also important to remember that you are never responsible for an assault – the blame lies squarely on the perpetrator.
The legal definition of sexual harassment in Australia is “unlawful” sexual discrimination or behaviour, whereas sexual assault is considered “criminal”. The difference between the two is that “unlawful” behaviours can be pursued for prosecution by the victim if they want to, whereas sexual assault is always prosecutable, and the charge is brought by the police.
Practically, sexual harassment is an umbrella term for a whole range of behaviours, many of which may not be physical – like leering, unwanted advances, lewd comments, displaying inappropriate images, sending texts or emails, stalking and so on. Sexual assault, by contrast, is always physical.
Sexual assault can be extremely isolating, and its impacts are often felt beyond the individual who is suffering, affecting a relationship, a family, or indeed a friendship group. Knowing someone close to you has been assaulted can leave you feeling powerless, but there are ways you can help:
According to the charity Darkness To Light, approximately one in ten children will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday. Child sexual abuse is devastatingly common, with one in seven girls and one in 25 boys abused before they turn 18.
While sexual abuse is never the victim’s fault, a lot of survivors experience strong feelings of guilt or responsibility for what happened to them. This puzzling reality is due to a few factors:
Often, people being assaulted will freeze (which is a common response to threat), and sometimes people are assaulted during an initially consensual encounter, which can leave them feeling confused about whether they caused what happened to them. But the reality is, sexual assault is never your fault.
For some people, cultural or social ideas they’ve grown up with about consent and sex can be extremely unhealthy – ideas about ‘promiscuity’, or ‘provocative’ behaviour, or ideas about being shameful or dirty.
Some abusers can be extremely convincing with the way they talk about the assaults they perpetuate – and sometimes, survivors internalise these ideas, whether consciously or sub-consciously. This can lead to confusion about whether or not an encounter was indeed consensual, or whether the victim in some way caused it to happen.
Sexual abuse can have a range of impacts on the survivor, and can impact their other relationships. A lot of these difficulties can stem from the way abuse can alter a person’s feelings about intimacy, closeness, and sexual contact. So, it’s important to be patient with someone who’s suffered sexual abuse, and understand that their capacity to be intimate may have changed.
Nowadays, sexual assault and abuse are legally the same whether or not they occur between a married couple or two unmarried people. Ethically and morally, being your spouse does not entitle someone to sexual contact with you without your consent. Coercion into unwanted sexual contact is also unacceptable, regardless of marital status.
Sexual abuse as a child can create long-lasting difficulties across many areas of adult life. At its core, it destroys the basic sense of trust that it's safe to be around other people. It can affect your sense of self, your ability to function day to day, and your capacity to trust others. Common difficulties experienced by adult survivors include:
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